Had my Doctor's appointment today. Pretty boring. Shes going to try and schedule me for an early ultrasound, to put my mind at ease a bit. She said hopefully at 6 or 7 weeks, so there'll be a bit more to see. After that she'll go over the results with me and go from there, and instead of referring me to another family doctor, she's going to wait until after my ultrasound, and I think she's going to refer me straight to an OB. I just want to see a heartbeat. Hopefully 6 weeks will be late enough to see it. So that's about it, nothing too fancy yet. I've been having some cramping, and she said to keep an eye on it, and if there is any spotting at all to call Katherine (her receptionist) to have them bump up the u/s. So hopefully I hear from the hospital soon. Chris kinda, but technically didn't, told his mom the other day, but we're not going to actually tell people until after the ultrasound and we know things are going alright. NO real symptoms, well none different than last time. Extreme tiredness, breakouts, my boobs are a little sore, and period like cramps. That's about it for today.

So we'll see how well this turns out. This is mainly going to be a pregnancy journal. I want to keep track of this stuff somewhere, but since we're not telling people yet, I can't exactly post it on lj or anything.

So we suffered a miscarriage in April 2007. 13w 3d. The baby stopped developing at 8w 5d for no apparent reason. It took a really long time for my body to go back to normal. I had my first actual period after the miscarriage in July. And that cycle we succeeded in getting pregnant again. So here I am 5 weeks along.

We weren't telling people, but I just couldn't keep it to myself, so I told Kerys and Lana. Other than them (and the ladies on my pg.org board) no one knows, not even our parents. We have a Doctors appointment on Tuesday, and after the miscarriage she told me she would get me in for at least one early ultrasound.

I lost my job on the same day I got my BFP, so that kinda diminished the joy, but now I'm okay. I start a new job tomorrow and I think things'll be alright. Even though I'm taking a paycut, I'll be getting more hours, so I think in the end my paychecks will be around the same as before.

I'm not experiencing any symptoms, but then again I didn't last time either. My boobs are a little sore today, and I'm having weird cm, but no nausea, morning sickness, the usual and most reconizable. I am very tired though, and I had that last time too. I just am worried when I have all the same symptoms as last time, that it'll end the same as last time, and I don't think I could mentally handle another miscarriage. I think it would break me.

So thats about it for now I guess. A little intro. Somewhere to vent all my worries and anxiety.